a lil reflection. we're havin farewell assembly in abt 2 weeks time.. and i've been thinking of many things. what have i achieved in these past 1 and half yr. how much has my academic career prepared me for what is to come or rather at the moment.. if i'll ever get thru it. i know everyone is feeling it.. but somehow it just feels different here in this humble mind of mine. sometimes i really think God is playing some sick joke with my life. try as i might to convince myself that, no, nothing happens by chance and yes, He does have a plan for me. i know i know i know. but deep down.. i just can't help feel and question that doubt that has been so near the tip of my tongue.. looking ard me.. everyone else seems and they are doing better than me. they say the grass is always greener on the other side. maybe it is. i hate to fail. i've never failed. but this time.. i know i will. u know that thing abt waking up each morning, looking in the mirror and asking. you have 2 choices. to make it a happy day or a depressing one. and each morning i present to the world their happy stories while i lock mine into the dusks of day.
it's nights like this.. i really wished you nvr went away. and i hate myself for pushing you away. all i do is to talk and cry to your shadow and thank God that he answered my prayers for making you happy. for letting you find your greener pasture.

if only wishes could be dreams and all my dreams would come true.