first. this will be a damn long post. if u dont wanna read.. just scram.. i have no qualms abt slamming u if u think this is all nothing but BS. cos.. no matter how heartless n unfeeling u are.. n how much this doesnt mean a thing to u.. it mattered.. and matters to 46 people.
46 individuals that came together.. individualistic (not to mention egoistic),each with their own set of motives, goals and aims.. drilled and slaughtered with heat and mud. yes.. i've said a million other times that its a screwed up organisation, with screwed up people and everything totally sucks. but.. u'd really nvr imagine one day.. one day you would cry when u step down. that.. in the wise words of ms chong.. many students came for the ceremony. hundreds of faceless students and teachers.. but only 43 people up on stage. many came with attendance, boredom in mind.. and 'its compulsory wad' mindset. i sweared i wouldnt cry (or at least i hoped)i mean.. i did pick the songs for the whole ceremony and watched the slideshow n video a million hundred times.. i heard wayne's speech a gazillion times and we did the 'councillors please take out your badge' a hundred times. many thought and felt it was a memorial service and eulogies said.. probably 50% of e cohort were sleeping.. but.. knowing that that was gonna be the last time u hear the walking in song, e last time u walk that route, e last time u turn together, e last time u hear tt speech, and finally.. e last moment u'd wear that badge.. it hurt. it really hurt. the many rehearsals did not help numb the feelings. the lame jokes by auntie lim (laundry n hat?!) and the rolling of eyes at stayin till ten (cos of her badminton) did not help. even while waiting outside the hall, waiting to go in.. i felt the butterflies gather. in fact.. i was worryin whether ava wud screw up and whether this wud go wrong or tt dint work. we all knew nobody in the freaking hall bothered abt us.. but we knew we mattered to one another. it was for us.. not them (or at least tts how i feel) wayne.. started to break down halfway thru' his speech. i knew he had stopped followin the script. he mentioned the trials we went thru.. n flashes of everything came back. everything.. e fun, laughter, joy, tears, sweat, blood, abrasions, foam & soap, dirt, late nights, cup noodles, pizzas, arguments, contempt, hugs, songs, lamesness, meetings, encouragements, and so on n so on.. this is one experience that nobody can ever.. ever put down in words. no one.. not even the pictures can show u how much we've been thru'. cliche as it is..'thick n thin' is really what we've braved. how much controlling, blinking and looking upwards couldnt stop the tears from flowing down. i guess it was really too much to bear. everyone beside and behind were sniffing and sobbing.. emotions really ran high at that moment.. especially when jo, marcus n perry came up to receive their certs.. i thank those who cheered for me when my name was called out (i heard ms k stood up!).. it was really touching!.. i mean.. i really din expect it.. yes.. taking out the badge.. i fumbled and i just couldnt get the pin to come out.. it felt like.. i dint want it to come down.. then pastor joshua's prayer.. how true.. that so much emotion would only be the results of how much you've put in.. how much pressure and pain u've put in.. the resounding applause.. it was for us.. just close your eyes.. n u'd pray that it would nvr end.. finally.. we.. the 25th student council.. took our last bow.. we bent low, firm and solemn as one heart played. we came up real slowly.. as the curtains closed.. i stood there facin the blaring spotlights.. and cried.. n yes.. manda n del.. i saw the lil 'standing ovation'. made me cry even harder.. it really meant alot.. behind the curtains.. everything just happened so quickly. turning back.. everyone had red swollen eyes.. even the guys. no u are not wussies! in fact.. tts wad make u guys so special.. cos even the biggest toughest guy cried or even teared. there was no hypocrisy nor brave fronts. everything was true to its very last. the hugs the words of thank yous..
anyways.. the past week was filled with photo takings. one pose lasted for 20 cameras and more.. finally dug my camera up for this last chance.. 2 days.. and 3 rolls of flim.. n more cos we decided to take one n develop for all kinda thing to spare our eyes from the flashes (hopefully it does appear this time..negatives usually all disappear). this yr's commendation lunch wasnt as good as last yr.. and of cos my table wasnt as happening as last yr's. last yr was mr mennon (i cant spell) he's really funny n crappy.. this yr was ms chia n this BOG.. really stressful! envied mr ong's table.. urg! he had the nerve to laugh at me! n of cos more photo takings! dinner at meyer's place was also one of a kind. its those hyper super crappy kinda beginnings.. forcing me to drink this cucumber drink tt was supposedly chin chow n tasted like sugar water!so gross!! i refused to drink! they all said it was gd!. no way!! more photos! then they started playing hei bai pei! and of cos our ingenious xi niu nai games! haha.. girls won in e end! weiting 5 time champion! hah.. really laughed my guts out! then.. things ended with song singing.. really really sweet.. i mean.. girls n even guys sang.. with perry n wayne on e guitar! e type of gatherin where everyone really bonds.. n share special moments. all good things must come to an end..
it came.. and went. so quickly.. but im proud to say i was part of the 25thSC of SAJC. moments of good n bad all mixed together.. memories. an experience unforgettable, indescribable.. yes.. always.. one in love.