escapism. that's the word. trying to shut out every ounce of feelings i have. making it seem like, 'oh no! really! there's nothing!!' ya. there's really nothing. just stuff as usual that every other person goes thru.. only it feels worse to the very person feeling it. if only getting drunk would help solve all problems. but it sucks when you wake up cos they all come back to haunt you. so there.. even that wouldnt work for me anymore. i know i need to talk. but.. i just cant bring myself to. i don't want his confirmation. i know he's happy now.. doing well and good. but i just need him to see me. to acknowledge me. that is the meaning of naive, stupid and stubborn.

you had me at hello.