are you deadened?

for a moment or two, i thought she was speaking to me. asking if i were hardened by this world's coldness, cruelty, causticness. was i? am i? i try to look for the love. family, friends, and even the Lord's. i caught myself going to say i lost them.. all of them. but just as it was about to escape at the tip of my tongue.. i realised.. no. they lost me. i'm lost.

i'm not sad because the memories are dead and nothing but images in the head. but at how gone they are.

they just reside in your heart. and sometimes i talk to them in my head. i know i'm just imagining things. yet they seem more real than this world we call real. perhaps they'll live longer than me. perhaps they laugh at my sillyness.

relax. it's just an act. and so is everything else that i seem to be doing. since my life is also pretty much an act.

who can say for certain
maybe you're still here
i feel you all around me
your memories so clear
deep in the stillness
i can hear you speak
you’re still an inspiration
can it be
that you are mine
forever love
and you are watching over me
from up above
fly me up to where you are
beyond the distant star
i wish upon tonight
to see you smile
if only for a while
to know you’re there
a breath away's not far to where you are