just had to blog today. away from all the earthly cares and desires of the human world. i am worried about my grades and how badly im not making the mark. im such a letdown.. to myself. and worse. i dont want anybody (esp them) to despise me and think i dont care abt my results at all. cos u're wrong i do! i do i do i do! but i just keep slipping off these short rungs on this broken ladder. im going down. spiralling down. how is it possible not to think? u dont do it on purpose. action! it just happens. its amazing how well i am at hiding my feelings. i should get some facade queen award. slap me somebody literature is like the shining lamp leading you thru the darkness. but no. once again. i've lost it. i mean nothing to you. i am nothing. but.. a shadow that once lingered in your past. hear my heart cry hope you had the time of your life..

and i don't want the world to see me
'cause i don't think that they'd understand
when everything's made to be broken
i just want you to know who i am
i just want you to know who i am